A new baby in the house can be a big shock to the other children who live there-even when they know the baby is on the way. When a new baby comes home, there is suddenly someone else who is getting all of the attention and your older child may miss out on some of the things that have become a normal part of his life. To make this an easier transition for your child, you will need to go to work early on so that by the time the new arrival is there, he will have an idea of what to expect.
Making the Announcement
Focus on your child’s new role as a “big kid” well in advance. Don’t say “There’s going to be a new baby”. Instead, try “You are going to be a big brother!”. Instead of sounding like you are getting a replacement for him, focus on the way that he or she is going to have an important new role. There are many ways that you can make this a role that he is excited about.
Setting the Stage
Let the new big brother or sister take part in some of the decisions about the new baby. Have him make suggestions about what you could name the baby. You could mention a few names that you are considering and see which ones he likes. Also, choose more than one style of nursery and let him make the final decision. This is a safe way to include him without worrying that he will decide to name your baby “Rumpelstiltskin” or “Tinkerbell”!
You will also need to let him know what it will be like when the baby arrives. Tell him that he is getting to be a big boy but that he will always be your baby too. Try to visit a friend with a new baby, or point out small infants when you see them. If your child doesn’t understand that the baby is going to cry, eat, get up in the middle of the night, etc. then he may be overwhelmed when the time comes.
Right Before the Arrival
Look for “big brother” or “big sister” merchandise for your child to wear or pass out when the baby arrives. Put together a bag or box of little treats for your “big kid”, and let her know they are from her new brother or sister. Make sure that your big girl gets to meet her new sibling as soon as possible; most hospitals allow siblings to visit their new arrivals right away.
After the Baby Arrives
Even though most parents will spend time as a family after their second one arrives, many forget the one-on-one time that is also important. Even if you have to take turns caring for the baby while the other parent spends some special time with the older child, it is an important way to give him the attention that he still needs from you.
The more you prepare your child for a new arrival, the less traumatic it will be. Don’t be surprised if your older child regresses a bit when the new baby arrives-this is a common reaction to a new arrival. Most “new baby” anxiety will pass after the first few weeks, as everyone gets used to the new routine, and baby settles in at home.
Denise Sanger is the owner of NewCoolToysOnline.com which features a fantastic selection of toddler toys and ride on toddler toys. The company is located in sunny Florida and may be reached at 877-950-7665.
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1 Comment
My grandson-age 5 had a rough transition this summer. Preschool ended and he had the summer home complete with Mom and his 7 month old twin sisters. He realized for the first time that he was no longer the center of attention and would now have to share. I did my part as Granny and found a lot a free stuff that we could share both to get him out of the house and to allow him the center of attention he so needed.
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